Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
