Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
