he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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