We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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