She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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