it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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