i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
