It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Randomize
