Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
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