I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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