Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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