My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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