Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
