My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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