he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
