So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
