dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
