yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
