Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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