My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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