Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
