doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
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