Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Randomize
