Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Can you bring me the toilet please
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
