I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
