put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
