nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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