Don't you send me to vm
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
