nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
