so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
