Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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