Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
