People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
