Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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