"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
