Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
