I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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