did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
