she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
