Tell her she can't have a vagina
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
