i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
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