To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
