u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
