some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I look better un-naked...
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Randomize
