whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
