Nicole vs. Life
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
