Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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