I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
