If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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