i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
